The Emperor

Linda: "Next, 'New New York in Crisis.' Morbo?"
Morbo: "Thanks, human female. Puny Earthlings were shocked today to learn that a ball of garbage will destroy their pathetic city of New New York."
Linda: "Makes me glad we live here in Los Angeles."
Morbo: "Morbo agrees."
~both laugh cheerfully~

Linda: "All in all, this is one day Mittens the kitten won't soon forget."
Morbo: "Kittens give Morbo gas. In lighter news, the city of New New York is doomed. Blame rests with known human Professor Hubert Farnsworth and his tiny, inferior brain."

Linda: "And so with two weeks left in the campaign, the question
on everyone's mind is, who will be the president of Earth? Jack Johnson or bitter rival John Jackson. Two terrific candidates, Morbo?"
Morbo: "All humans are vermin in the eyes of Morbo!"

Morbo: "Morbo will now introduce tonights candidates. Puny human number one, puny human number two and Morbo's good friend Richard Nixon."
Nixon: "Hello Morbo. How's the family?"
Morbo: "Belligerent and numerous."
Nixon: "Good man, Nixon's pro-war and pro-family."

Morbo: "Morbo demands an answer to the following question. If you saw
a delicious candy in the hands of a small child. Would you seize and consume it?"
John Jackson: "Unthinkable."
Jack Johnson: "I wouldn't think of it."
Morbo: "What about you Mr. Nixon? I remind you. You are under of a truth-o-scope."
Nixon: "Question is vague. You don't say what kind of candy and whether anyone is watching. In anyway I certainly wouldn't harm the child."

Linda: "The sheer drama of this election has driven voter turnout to it's highest level in centuries, six percent."
Morbo: "Exit poll show evil underdog Richard Nixon trailing with estimated zero votes."
Linda: "The time is 7:59 and the robot polls are now opening. And robot votes are now in. Nixon has won."
Morbo: "Morbo congratulates our gargantuan cyborg president. May death come quickly to his enemies."

Linda: "The holiday season is time of celebration for most but it is also the time to remember the tragic suffering of the less fortunate."
Morbo: "Earthlings do not yet know the meaning of suffering."

Linda: "Yankee's fifths Blernsmen William Woo is out with an injured knee."
Morbo: "So... Humans have easily injured knees... My race will find this information very useful indeed! Muhuhahahaha!

Morbo demands comments!

......and that's why the third graders at PS139 are Morbo's "Vermin Of The Week".

~sings~ "Oh won't you take me to ... funky town? Oh won't you take me to ... funky town ...."

Morbo: "Morbo can't understand his TelePrompTer. He forgot how you say that letter that looks like a man with a hat."
Linda: "It's a T, it goes tah."
Morbo: "Hello little man. I WILL DESTROY YOU!"
Fry: "Man, even the news-monster is acting strange!"

So I gave the cookies you made to Fawn and the kids, and they couldn't believe it. They were delicious! But I digress. Tremble, puny earthlings! One day my race will destroy you all!

Linda [on TV]: With Halley's Comet out of ice, Earth is experiencing the devastating effects of sudden intense global warming.

Morbo [on TV]: Morbo is pleased but sticky. The scorching heat has melted the polar ice caps causing floods of biblical proportions.

[The shot changes to a swamped city with an ark floating through it.]

Gay Sailor [on TV]: They called me crazy for building this ark.

Man [on TV]: You are crazy, you built it with same sex animal couples!

Gay Sailor [on TV]: Hey! There are parts of the Bible I like and parts I don't like.

[The shot changes to a live windmill landscape.]

Morbo [on TV]: Direct your attention now to the African turtles seen here migrating to cooler homes in Holland.

[A turtle rolls onto the back of its shell and can't get up.]

Bender (crying): That poor turtle!

Fry: Bender? Are you crying?

Bender (crying): Uh no! Never!

[He wipes his eyes with windscreen wipers.]

Morbo [on TV]: Morbo wishes these storward nomads peace among the Dutch tulips!

Linda [on TV]: I'm sure those windmills will keep them cool.

Morbo [on TV] (shouting): Windmills do not work that way! [He turns to the camera.] Goodnight!

Linda: "Alien abductions. Until now, a harmless nuisance. But recently they've taken on a sinister dimension as unsuspecting victims are returned without noses."
Fry: "Like me!"
Morbo: "The culprits: shameless poachers, hunting humans without a permit."

Welcome to "Entertainment And Earth Invasion Tonite". Across the galaxy my people are completing the mighty space fleet that will exterminate the human race! But first, this news from Tinseltown.